I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
