I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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