In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
