So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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