Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
