I accidentally had phone sex last night
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
