why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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