how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
