Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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