Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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