I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
