so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
