Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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