I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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