No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
