I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
