this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
