Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's blow job season.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
