I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he puts the penis in happiness.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
