Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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