I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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