i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
