We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
