I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
