is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
