and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
