Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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