oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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