sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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