her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
