look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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