would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
