I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You made out with two different species that night
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
