He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
