toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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