so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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