Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
