She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize