Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
