9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
