I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
