Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
