it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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