no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
