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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.

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• (212): View more from New York

  so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  spencer pratt says his family invinted chess

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  probably

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.

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• (510): View more from California

  all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.

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