Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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