3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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