Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
