we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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