When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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