If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
