i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish you could order shots online.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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