im about as happy as oj after his trial
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
