Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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