Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
