I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
