I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
