I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Sext me about skeletons
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
