Kiss
Puke
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize