Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
