i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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