a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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