my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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