It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
