im drinking this country out of the recession.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
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When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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