he told me I talked like a deaf person
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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