im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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