if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
