oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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